What the fuck am I doing?

so. It's winter break, I'm about to go home for awhile. well...as close to home as I have. I feel like a nomad, the most steady place for me is on campus but even that doesnt offer the permanence I'd like. I think I'm ready for a new beginning, I think I want to move far away, not too far yet, but a big step out the door.

I called an old teacher of mine who I shared many late night talks, good food, communion, and the type of cameraderie that Ive only enjoyed a couple times in my life. It was a bittersweet phone call to say the least, It made me realize just how much i've changed or how much she's changed. I can't tell which. I feel lost and I'm just hoping to wash ashore soon. It might just be the cold messing with me. It's been barely above freezing all week which doesnt help when I get claustrophobic in this house.
I'm (re)reading When You Are Engulfed In Flames and James and The Giant Peach.